travelogue: visiting the beautiful north shore - part 3: what to do

the beautiful route 1 corridor in saugus and peabody, mass. is a stunning stretch of roadway filled with charming places to stay and wonderful dining establishments. in this third and final installment of "travelogue," we explore the many, many entertainment options available to you during your stay.

enjoy.

overview: you don't have to fork over a lot of money to have a good time along route 1. with a little imagination, you can find all kinds of things to keep you and your family busy for several, action-packed days. as always, we have reviewed some of the best options for so all you have to do is show up.

so, here are our picks:

1) route 1 miniature golf

thrifty travelers could spend an entire vacation's worth of activity time at this landmark sports and entertainment complex near the route 1/route 99 interchange. miniature golf. batting cages. a dairy castle...the options really are endless.

but, it is the golf course's famous resident, the big orange dinosaur, that the masses flood to for the ultimate thrill. the iconic sentinel (he stoically overlooks route 1) has been the target of vandals and adoring fans for generations. but he is not alone. humpty-dumpty and other storybook friends also keep visitors entertained on the links.


2) hockey town, usa

some say that the hockey at hockey town, usa is just a bunch of kids on skates having fun. to that, we say "pish." what the locals don't want you to know is that when you are in saugus and are looking for a good fight, this is the place to go. don't let the youth league atmosphere fool you...these hocksters are vicious.

non-traditional thrill seekers, you're welcome.



3) db's golden banana

with all due respect to the "continuous entertainment" at nearby cabaret, there is only ONE place to go when you are looking for a more sophisticated place to spend your entertainment dollar along route 1. located among some of the nicer trailer parks in the peabody highlands, the banana is the perfect place to kick back and enjoy the show. and, just as the exterior suggests...this place is all class.

just don't ask to see db's actual golden banana. apparently, that's a touchy subject.



4) car wash

in the event that you are lucky enough that your trip falls in the middle of the week, make sure you check out wacky wednesday at car wash. you will NOT regret it. we promise.

and, while you're there, you could always check out amateur night at nearby cabaret...just don't tell db.



5) fountain of life church/spice closet

we have received many requests for suggestions for other miscellaneous activities along route 1 that are important to some travelers. places of worship. adult novelty shops. those sort of things. well, we are happy to give you suggestions for not only each of these...but for BOTH of them.

the fountain of life apostolic church is located conveniently smack next door to the very popular spice closet boutique. bring the family. make a day of it.

saugus is nothing if not accommodating.




we wish you luck on your trip and look forward to hearing all about the wonderful experiences you will have when you visit one of the most charmed and lovely areas our nation has to offer. bon voyage.

2009 network tv dead pool

i've wanted to do this for a few years now, but haven't gotten around to it due to poor timing and monumental laziness. anyway, here it is:

this is simply a pool where we each chose a show that is new to the 2009 fall tv line-up and whoever's show gets canceled first....wins some sort of prize that will be determined at a later date. simply comment on this post with the show you wish to chose and wait for the axe to fall. first come, first serve.

here are the shows:

-accidentally on purpose (cbs) jenny
-er trauma (nbc) rcade
-melrose place (the cw) bruiser
-v (abc) pix
-ncis: los angeles (cbs) judy
-the good wife (cbs) s
-the forgotten (abc) bg
-glee (fox) buerger
-er mercy (nbc) cade
1)the beautiful life (the cw)
2)eastwick (abc) leanne
-hank (abc) dan
-the middle (abc) kroeker
-modern family (abc)
-cougar town (abc) jessie
-flash forward (abc) carrie
-the vampire diaries (the cw)
-community (nbc)
-brothers (fox) care
-the cleveland show (fox) dave
-three rivers (cbs) james

choose wisely. and if you can't or don't want to leave a comment here...you may send me a message on facebook.

disclaimer: only new shows on network stations are included. no cable shows, for obvious reasons. also, reality shows are not included, because it is typically impossible to cancel a reality show mid-season. i will wait until the 5th choice is in before i make mine as to not cherry pick any obvious picks.

well...they tried

dear readers, the annex is proud (and somewhat horrified) to present to you...

...the 10 worst tributes to michael jackson available FOR PURCHASE on etsy.com:

10.
this simple t-shirt captures a young michael before he started all those chin reconstruction surgeries. but surprisingly, AFTER he had his nose and lips done.

9.

we know that the official cause of death had something to do with propofol...but we're pretty sure that thing behind him in this picture didn't help.

8.

we debated including this one because we couldn't decide whether this was actually michael or some tribute to yoko ono. we assume it's michael.







7.
just...beautiful.

6.
we know what you're thinking...but it's a finger puppet.

5.
this must have taken forever to get right.

4.

we finally see what mama-se mama-sa ma-ma coo-sa is all about.

3.

our thoughts exactly.

2.

umm....awesome?

1.
yep. that's elvis welcoming michael into the great beyond. we can only hope we all get this exact reception.

bands i'm done with - volume 2

today's band: owl city

seriously? are you just trying to be a whinier, less interesting version of ben gibbard from death cab for cutie?

well, mission accomplished.

maybe i would have cared in 2004.

either way...done.

travelogue: visiting the beautiful north shore - part 2: what to eat

in our previous segment, we explored the varied and majestic hotels that line beautiful route 1 in saugus and peabody. now that you have chosen a place to stay, we intend to give you some helpful information on choosing from the many wonderful dining opportunities along this historic corridor.

enjoy.

overview: there is no shortage of quality restaurants to choose from in this area. the fare covers a wide range of tastes and aesthetics. italian, asian, mediteraenian, german, mass amounts of raw beef...you name it, you can get it. and more than likely, it's going to be found under some sort of giant, gaudy, over-the-top enormo-sign. and for your convenience, we have weeded through the 18 dunkin' donuts and multiple mcdonald's to bring you our top picks.

so, here they are:

1) hilltop steak house ($$)

frank giuffrida is a legend in massachusetts. so much so, that no one can really agree on what that legend truly is. well, whether or not the new management has, in fact, stopped allowing the giuffrida family from dining a gratis after years of such favor has little to do with the food...which used to be great.

if you want a kitschy dining experience from a staff that cares less and less each year about the once iconic steak house, then this the place for you. just look for the enormous cactus bearing the name of a mythic man who is surely turning over in his grave.


2) prince pizzeria (and comedy club) ($$)

family owned and operated for roughly 400 years, prince pizzeria boasts a very popular line up of pizza...which can be enjoyed while taking in some local comedy in the attached giggles comedy club.

but if pizza and laughs aren't your thing, don't worry...crushing bitterness and apathy are available upon request.


3) kowloon ($$)

however, if you're like us and LOVE amateur comedy...but want something a little more exotic than traditional italain fare...then, kowloon is the place for you.

its ecclectic mix of asian dishes and themed rooms (tiki lagoon!) make this unique gem a must for any self-respecting foodie visiting the area. add in kowloon komedy nights and cheap scorpion bowls and you have to be without a pulse to NOT have a great time.


4) donatello ristorante ($$$)

men in suits have prevented us from actually eating here on multiple occasions so a proper review is not possible. it must be good, though. it's always full, if not a tad on the dark side.

so, we'll just say that this is probably the best italian restaurant you will ever eat at.


5) karl's sausage kitchen ($$)

we have never heard anything but great things about karl's sausage. in fact, we've been told that karl's sausage is the best in new england. we're just going to trust that that's true.




6) bel-aire diner ($)

the bel-aire offers patrons a chance to enjoy classic diner fare in the confines of a sleek, nostaglic setting and is a real treat to experience. management closed the diner down in 2005 to embark on what will surely be a historic and breathtaking rennovation project that 4 years in and counting...promises to change the way we americans view the classic diner.

we, for one, cannot wait to see the results.


happy eating!


editor's note:, at press time, the editors were unable to visit the brand new sonic drive-in located on route 1 north in peabody due to the excessive (2+ hour) wait times. sorry for any inconvenience.

bands i am done with

it's time for a new segment here at the annex. bands i am done with is an effort to create a complete list of new bands that seem to get a lot of love but are, in fact, not that great.

there are a handful of bands out right now that have caused me to consider making this segment. but, none have baffled me more than our first installment:

airborne toxic event

a.t.e. (as our local, independent radio station likes to call them) burst onto the scene in 2008 with the song "sometime around midnight." it's like a combination of early snow patrol and the late, great josh joplin group (both of which i like) all thrown together in an angsty little emo stew.

and i can't stand angsty little emo stew. we get it...you're in pain.

but, i tend to try not to judge a band on one song, so a.t.e. had their chance to redeem themselves, though, with the follow-up single "wishing well." unfortunately for them, the song does nothing for me.

so, i'm left with only one choice...to be done with airborne toxic event. i'm sure they're nice guys. i just don't care.

it's been a while AKA: CADE'S FALL MOVIE PREVIEW

in this long-awaited return edition of FALL MOVIE PREVIEW, we look at some of the biggest movies to grace our local multiplexes this fall and early winter. if you don't see a movie that you want to see...that's probably because it's either not worth my effort or just plain terrible. if it's the former, i apologize. if it's the latter, get better taste. either way, enjoy.

(reminder of my ratings scale: *=awful, **=not good, ***=tolerable, ****=okay, *****=might be worth seeing)

WARNING: possible spoilers included. (i.e. amelia dies at the end of AMELIA.)

ALL ABOUT STEVE (9/4) with all due respect to the sudden success of bradley cooper's career (and not to take anything away from co-star sandra bullock) this movie starts the preview because of the fact that it kicks off the fall with a role from none other than ken jeong. don't know who that is? impossible. since, apparently, you can't make a movie without him...(or a tv show either for that matter.) settle in. the age of jeong is at hand. get on board or get run over. ***

EXTRACT (9/4) mike judge, jason bateman, mila kunis, kristen wiig, gene simmons...what's not to love? well...ben affleck's in it too, but i remain hopeful. *****

9 (9/9) this big screen version of maury yetson's award-winning broadway musical boasts....wait....that's THIS nine. well, what is this one then? oh, it's that kinda cool, oscar-winning animated short from a few years ago? and tim burton's producing it? sounds good to me. ****

CAPITALISM: A LOVE STORY (9/23)

dear michael moore,

we get it. you are unhappy with the world we live in. please make a decent movie for a change.

sincerely,
everyone.

**

THE INVENTION OF LYING (9/25) ricky gervais claims this is "the funniest episode of the twilight zone ever." i'm in. ****

SHUTTER ISLAND (10/2) it's about time martin scorcese and leonardo dicaprio made a movie together. ***

MORE THAN A GAME (10/2) starring lebron james.... ? *

COUPLES RETREAT (10/9) the ken jeong train rolls on. don't even try and stop it. jeong not enough to get you to see this? well, how about this? it was written by jon favreau and vince vaughn. if you are at all like me, you like...nay...you LOVE anything that is written by jon favreau and vince vaughn. ****

WHIP IT (10/9) despite the fact that i like several of the people involved in this roller derby comedy directed by drew barrymore...it's still a roller derby comedy directed by drew barrymore. **

WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE (10/16) my man-crush on director spike jonze prevents me from making any snarky comment about this movie. it looks spectacular. *****

THE ROAD (10/16) the feel-good movie of the year finally makes it to theaters. brings the kids. they're gonna love this one. *****

THIS IS IT (10/28) all bets on whether mj can pull a "heath ledger" this oscar season are off. i just hope it's as good as captain eo. ***

ZOMBIELAND (10/9) after wrapping this lighter-than-it-sounds flick, woody harrelson was so immersed in the movie's world that he claimed to have mistaken a new york photographer for a zombie...and decked him. well, if woody can get that wrapped up in it...i guess maybe i can too. or...maybe not. **

NINE (11/25) this big screen version of maury yetson's award-winning broadway musical boasts a pretty great cast and an experienced director. i don't expect a lot of my friends to beat a path to see this...but i may just check it out anyway. ****

THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON (11/20) something about vampires... honestly, the only thing that interests me about this "saga" is finding out just HOW uninterested i can become in it. it's like a personal challenge. and i bet i succeed brilliantly. *

FANTASTIC MR. FOX (11/13) personal hero, wes anderson's, long awaited telling of the classic roald dahl story finally comes to...holy crap? it's ANIMATED!? i don't know, wes. i just don't know about this. ****

BROKEN EMBRACES (11/20) it's about time pedro almodóvar and penélope cruz made a movie together. ***

THE MEN WHO STARE AT GOATS (11/6) there is simply no way in the world this movie can live up to the awesomeness that its title forces on my brain. **

A CHRISTMAS CAROL (11/6) great. another version of a christmas carol. and just in time for...what...guy fawkes day? *

2012 (11/13) just when i had forgiven john cusack for doing america's sweethearts...he goes and does a roland emmerich movie. ROLAND "FRIGGIN" EMMERICH!! i hope the mayans were right just so we don't have to watch this man continue to get money to make (stargate possibly excepted) the worst movies ever. -*******

THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG (11/25) so, i guess disney decided that instead of actually shutting down its 2-D animation studios...it would rather reevaluate its entire 72 year history and FINALLY make a movie about black people. what's the matter disney? ebony skin too hard to render on a computer? *

SERIOUS MOONLIGHT (12/4) i literally know NOTHING about this movie. it's just nice to know that meg ryan is still alive out there somewhere. **

SHERLOCK HOLMES (12/25) comment not available. the author is too busy standing in line already to purchase tickets to this movie. *****

ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: THE SQUEAKUEL (12/25) i hope you're happy, america. because of you, they made another one. *


that's all for this round. until next time, i'll see YOU at the movies. or, at least, sifting through the wastelands on netflix.